This. This right here explains what my last relationship was like. I was so convinced in the beginning that I could help them feel better, and have a better outlook on life if I just stayed with them. I was so determined that I ignored the red flags for 3 years. I’m not joking. Finally durring the 4th year I realized I was stuck in a situation that I needed to get out of before it was too late. I’m not saying that I didn’t stop caring for them, because I really did care for them, but I realized that nothing I did to try to help them made a difference after a certain point. And when when they kept yelling at me that I wasn’t making an effort to help them personally instead of us trying to work together, I knew then that they were long gone from my help. I had been sucked dry of my efforts and giving that I myself was becoming depressed. I know not all people who have depression and low self esteem are like this, but I now know that I can’t be the soul person to put effort into the relationship. I really do hope that my last significant other can find happiness in life that I was not able to show them.
just bc someone has low self esteem or has depression doesnt mean theyre not fucking disgusting and manipulative and i keep having to learn this lesson over and over
reblogging for tags:
#to be honest #very many of the people who have been abusive and manipulative toward me had low self-esteem and depression #like there’s a particular type of person I keep encountering #who thinks that because they feel so shitty you owe them #and that if your support isn’t enough for them #they lash out at you for ‘not trying hard enough’ #’not listening enough’ #and they could drain you dry iwth their demands and just use you being too exhausted to give them anything more as proof you never really cared #and they also use the good faith mentally ill people have among each other #to make it harder to see the red flags
Oh have I ever seen this. I’m hesitant to mention it because so many people will worry I mean them when I don’t. But I’ve had this happen, as a pattern, and when it happens, it’s real. It doesn’t mean every person with low self-esteem and bad depression who is ‘high maintenance’ fits into this mold. But it does mean be careful, be very careful.
Yes, this. I’ve been spending a lot of time reading up on narcissistic/abusively self-centered people* (and narcissistic parents in specific—my dad was abusive and narcissistic) and it’s all about people who have very, very low self-worth and take that out on other people in order to (temporarily) feel better about themselves (and sometimes cover that low self-worth with fake grandiosity and confidence). Understanding where my dad’s abusive behaviour came from (his dad was abusive as well) gives me some compassion for him, but he’s still very dangerous to me and I am staying well away from him now. I was also able to recognize this exact same pattern in a couple of people I know and could never quite place why I felt so unsafe and uncomfortable around them. I realize now it’s that they are coping with their troubles in a way that makes it clear they did not value other people as highly as they did themselves.
*I say “abusively self-centered” because there are ways to be self-centered which aren’t abusive at all. It’s very important to treat yourself as an important person who is worthy of love and care because it’s true, and taking care of yourself is not hurtful just in itself, though lots of us get twisted up in knots over this. The difference is that an abusively self-centered person will harm and exploit *other* people because they don’t consider other people’s selves and feelings to be as important as theirs.
Because I also know lots of people struggling with depression and low self-esteem who do NOT act this way. They do their best to look after themselves, but there is a difference in how they treat other people. They don’t expect other people’s lives to revolve around them or like other people are disposable if they aren’t immediately helping. (There’s a difference between “I am in too much pain to interact with you right now” and “I am in too much pain to treat you like a human being”.) In fact, they are usually very worried ABOUT being “too much” or “too needy” or hurting other people, even though they usually aren’t doing that at all or, if so, in a way that is an accident and not a repeated pattern.
After so many years of disliking centaurs for being impractically designed, I thought of a design that actually makes them look like functional organisms! And now I love them!!!
Their hands have two thumbs, and can be used in walking and running just like the other limbs. The smaller centaurs have dexterous toes on all of their limbs, but in the higher weight classes, gripping ability on the back four legs is sacrificed in order to better support the body while standing. The central limbs are set wider than the fore and hind limbs to prevent collision when all six are being used in locomotion.
This reminds me of Wayne Douglas Barlowe in the best possible way.
What ya’ll see:
WHAT I SEE:
HOLY CRAP ME TOO!!!
D 0 N T L0 0 K A W A Y
THE BITE OF 87’
My favorite moment when playing FFXIV for the first time was seeing the men in the same ridiculous subligars as the women.
World of Warcraft
Final Fantasy XIV
So I honestly can’t believe I’ve never seen anyone talking about the art direction of this scene. If I’m repeating something, Ah,well. But I’ve honestly never seen it pointed out that this is the very first time we see Mary, and there are three important things here:
Mary reaches for John’s hand. John takes it, of course—he is used to being offered comfort for his loss, by now—but he is not reaching out to her for comfort in his sadness. She is inserting herself into his grief. Reflexively, he lets her.
We only see the back of her. It’s unusual to introduce a major protagonist any other way than by showing their face pretty much immediately. A major antagonist, however…a baddie…well, they often are introduced in a cloud of cigarette smoke, from a distance, in the shadows, as a mysterious voice on a phone, or in some other way that doesn’t tell us right away who they are. Our first glimpse of Mary gives us only the most vague information about her. Obviously a woman, obviously someone John is close to, as he holds her hand. Other than that…who is she? We don’t know.
Finally, it’s no mistake she is wearing a long, grey coat which flares slightly from the waist, and a blue scarf. But they are paler shades of those colours than Sherlock’s coat and scarf were, because Mary is but a pale imitation of the person we are used to seeing standing beside John Watson (even once, when they were handcuffed together, holding John Watson’s hand in a manner similar to what we see here). Her coat and scarf look cheap, “less than,” and her denim jeans are “less” than Sherlock Holmes’s designer trousers. Her dark hat is a visual echo of Sherlock’s dark hair. This whole shot is set up not only to remind us that Sherlock used to stand here at John Watson’s side, but also that This is some lesser, fake, replacement-Sherlock standing at John Watson’s side, and whether consciously or unconsciously, John has chosen a pale imitation indeed.
HOW DID I MISS THIS WHEN I WAS WATCHING IT THE FIRST TIME?!
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Yes please All of them Can I be the center of attention?
ill take the one in red
shocking content !
Shen Shaomin’s Beautiful And Terrifying Bone SculpturesBones automatically insinuate death, and often are the only physical remnant that insinuates life once existed. Shen Shaomin‘s bone works are equal parts terrifying and fascinating, man-made memorials to human intervention on the planet. Creatures that never have been or should be are pieced together from human and animal skeletons. The bones are carved and relief-carved with text taken from several sources, including the Bible, the Koran, and various sources. Inscribed in English, Arabic, and Chinese, the texts serve as warnings to the two largest industrial nations in the world of the damage being caused to the planet.
Fandoms that get forgotten on multifandom posts,
there are many more, but I can only put ten, feel free to add yours~
*reblogs with all the force of a great typhoon*
I LOVE YOU
I LoVe these so much QAQ